Living Water

I started this blog wanting to do it every week, and I do hope to get there at some point, but you know, with a full-time job, leading worship at Wellspring, a 2-year old and a newbie, and all the other stuff life demands, it's not easy to stop for a minute!

Today I had a blessed time at church, and I truly rejoiced in who God is, and I just have to write about it, because I don't want to forget too soon!

Lately I've been feeling tired, and overwhelmed. You might not know me, but I'm a dreamer. I always have been, and I hope I always will be, but lately I've just felt like in order to live, I have to watch my dreams die. Do you know what I mean? I've got a family, I've got bills to pay, and the needs, and the demands seem eternal. Lately, I've been living under that weight. I've been worried that the rest of my life is going to be paycheck to paycheck, and that I'm never going to achieve the things I want to achieve. If you've never been in that place, let me tell you, it's depressing.

But, today I led our church in praise to the God who turns mourning into dancing, and whose love never fails. Today I sang, "In You, In You I find my peace," and "In You I put my trust." Today I sang, "I will trust You in the pain, when I can't see past today, when it's hard to lift my hands to praise You, I will trust You." Today, my soul agreed with that, and in faith, I rested from my worry, I rejoiced, and I was happy.

I wasn't happy because I found a way to achieve everything I want to, and live the life I want to live. Today my dream to play music for a living, really doesn't seem any closer than it did before, but today I was reminded that my hope is not in something so small. If I wrote music that topped charts, and went on nationwide tours, and inspired people, but didn't know my God, it would all be worthless. But if the rest of my life is spent making offers on cars, or doing some other job to pay the bills, while I continue to grow closer to the LORD, that'll be alright. My life is not about achieving my dreams, but it's about enjoying fellowship with my God, and that is my sustenance. Anything else is just water, and I will thirst again after it, but He is living water.

I'm not saying I'm giving up on my dreams, but just that I'm not going to look to them to make me happy, or anything else, because they won't. God showed me a long time ago that I am only satisfied in Him, and today, I'm making a commitment to be satisfied in Him.